BLOG CAMINO ♦ WHOLENESS(ABILITY) & INTEGRATION(ABILITY) ♦

PAMPLONA – PUENTE LA REINA 6-7 OCT. 2021

WHOLENESS^(ABILITY)& INTEGRATION^(ABILITY)®

NATASHA

It Was So Nice Arriving At Pamplona, And We Stayed A Couple Of Nights, As Work
Prevented Us From Starting Our Walk Till Late In The Day. We Ended Up In A Very
Cozy Restaurant And Had 2 X Lunch, And Finally We Got Control Of
Everything That Day. Our Italian Friend Has Continued Her Walk, And She Sends
Us Updates And Nice Messages From Here And There.

Our Physique And The Weather Are Still On Our Side, And We Get Further And
Further Away From What Is “Back Home”, Just Not Our Little Family. Our Oldest At
20 Is In Colombia, The Next One At 18 Is On A Study Tour In Germany, And The Little
Ones Are At Lanzarote. We Chat And Write To Each Other, And They Are With Us
Every Single Step, Thought, And Conversation.

We Have 4 Children, Each 2 From Our First Marriage. We Call The Children Ours
And Mine, Right From Day 1. Our Children Have Always Functioned Quite Fantastically
As Siblings – For Good And Bad, And We Never Had To Make Any Efforts In This Respect.
This Is The Largest Gift And Strength In Our Relationship. However, It Is Quite Another
Story With Us Grown-Ups Around The Children. There Are Many Ways To Tie Families
Together, And In Our Case There Is No Mine Or Yours, But Ours The Whole Way Through.

Tying Two Families Into An “Ours” Format, Where There Is Already Another Mother Or
Father, Is Probably One Of The Most Difficult Integrations: Family Culture, Parenting,
Habits Etc. Which Are To Be Changed To A Certain Degree, To Allow Everything To Merge.
And When A 3rd Party Appears – After The Divorce – Then There Are Also Other
People Who Decide And Set The Agenda, And This Demands Very Much From The
Other Involved Grown-Ups Who Are To Guide The Children To Accept This.
It Can Be Very Difficult For Them To Remember That They Are In Fact Divorced,
And That Their Children Have To Live Their Everyday Life Under A Different
Family System, A Different Family Rhythm, And A New Extra Person Who
Gets The Family Role In The Children’s Lives, Being “Bonus Parents”.
And The Other Way Around, The Coming “Bonus Parents” Must Remember
That There Is Already A Mother Or A Father, – And Remember To Include This
Fact In Everyday Life, And Not To Neglect It.

From My Side, There Are Not Many Grown-Ups Who Are Up To Their Tasks Regarding
Exactly This Kind Of Integration^(Ability). When Speaking About Our Children
And Former Families Which We Are Separated From.

We Lose Our Sense Of Reality, And Too Many Unsettled Feelings Come To The Surface,
If They Are Not Quite Clarified! Most Parents Stick To The Thesis That Everything Should
Be Done The Same Way As Always “For The Sake Of The Children”,- And They Forget
That There Is Another Main Family Mother Or Father At The Other Side, Who Sets The
Agenda In That Family And Is Also An Existing Person.The Children Learn From Us
And Are Confident In What We Introduce To Them As Confident / Safe!
Here We Lack In Learning The Significance Of The Ability To Be Able To See
And Understand The Whole, Where We Should Be Able To Handle The Whole
And Not Only See Ourselves And Our Demands. We Must Not Let Ourselves Be
Ruled By Whatever We Have Not Received From Our Xs And Which The
Newcomer May Get, – Or If We Believe That All Of A Sudden We Should Be
Able To Find Out Everything Together, Which We Were Not Able To In
The Past.There Is A Reason Why We Divorced! We Must, However,
Remember To Use Our Ability To See And Accommodate The Whole W
hich We Have As A Reality In Our Life, So That We Shall Not End Up Being
Parents Who Are Unable To Respect Or Accept The Big Change Which We
Are Part Of, – And Which Is Entirely Our Responsibility To Handle.

We Need The Whole To Be Able To Create The Space For Everyone, Where We
Can Be Together And Function Together. Therefore We Must Find A New Way
Of Doing Many Things, Also With The Newcomers. If We Do Not Find One, Then
The Biggest Family Crises One Can Ever Imagine Are Likely To Arise, Also
Involving Grandparents, Siblings Etc., And The Biggest Losers Will Be
The Children Who Will Get In Trouble. I Can Also Draw A Similar Parallel
In Professional Life, When Major Processes Of Changes Take Place, Such As
A Merger, Settlement Of A Department, A New Ceo, A New Department Or New Employees.

Here We Must Be Able To Accommodate Seeing The Whole And To Handle The
Situation And The Processes, Where We Still Remember Ourselves And Make Room
For Others. We Must Find The Timing For Setting The Limits, When Other People
Cannot Quite “Go In For” The Time For Retiring, And Here We Hit Right
Into One Of Our Hypotheses In A2 Which
Supports The Meta Duality Theory^®, – Namely Wholeness^(Ability)
And Thus Also Integration^(Ability).

Life Is Fantastic, And Our Decisions, Other People’s Presence, And Which Effect All

Those Activities Initiated By Us Have All Teach Us To Be Us. So, As My
Old Father Says: “Never Spit Upwards – The Spat Is Going To
Land Directly Into Your Face” – Or As I Say: “Remember That
Everything Has An End, And You Must Be Able To Look At
Yourself In The Mirror Knowing That You Have Behaved Well
And Been Proper To Yourself And To Everyone Else” <3

Rasmus:

Pamplona Is A Beautiful City Sandwiched In A Valley With Mountains Of
Around 1,000 M Height. It Is The Capital Of The Former Kingdom Navarra And
Is The Size Of Aalborg (Dk). It Is A University Town, So There Are A Lot Of
Nice Cafés And Bars, And They All Have All Kinds Of Delicious Pintxos To Be
Selected From The Bar Counter. In Order To Finish Some Work We Took A Day
Off In The City. There We Found A Nice Café And Settled Down With Our Laptop.
We Stayed The First Night In The City At A Real Hotel, But For This Night We Found
A Modern Pilgrims Hostel In The Middle Of The Small Streets, Where Just About

Every Second “Shop” Is A Café, A Bar Or A Restaurant. Both Have Their Charm,
And I Like The Mix And The Variation.

We Left Pamplona At About 9:30h And Started The Physically Hard And Long Stage.
In The Middle Of The Stage Is A Mountain Ridge With Hundreds Of
Windmills Which We Have To Force, And That Makes The Old Engineer Happy!
Should We Just Say That Natasha Does Not Bother To
Hear About Windmills For A Long Time 🙂

In The Morning There Was Some Little Trouble From Back Home Which We
Were To Attend To, And As Always In Those Cases I Lose Track, Mentally As
Well As Physically. The Result Was That We Chose The Wrong Path Three Times
Without Realizing It, But In The Most Beautiful Camino Way We Got Help Immediately.

The First Time, A Couple Of Elderly Pilgrims Stopped Us To Ask For Directions.
Actually, This Made Us Stop And Realize That We Went In The Wrong Direction.
The Second Time We Did Not Realize Either That We Had Gone Wrong,
But Here It Was A Cyclist Who Stopped And In Spanish Explained To
Us That We Had Forgotten To Turn Off.

The Third Time It Was Some French Pilgrims Who Helped Us, And Fortunately
We Quickly Found The Yellow Arrows And The Clams Which You Always Follow
At The Camino. So: “Camino Provides”, And Today The Caminoen Found That We Did Not Need To Take A Wrong Direction Too Many Times. – This We Would Appreciate Very Much Later In The Day,
As The Day Turned Out To Be Very Long. Not Only Should We Force
A Mountain, – In Addition To This There Were No Opportunities To Stop
Anywhere Until After 15 Km. When Finally, With Very Tired Legs,
We Arrived At The Hotel, The Activity App Showed 28.9 Km! Ouch..

We Usually Say That Anything More Than 25 Km Is Self-Torture And Not
At All In Our Spirit, But There Are Just Some Days, Where You Simply Have
To Walk The Last Mile. So It Is Also In Any Business. You Do Not Succeed By
Sleeping, And Some Days Are Just Long 🙂

♦ BUEN CAMINO ♦